An Ordinary Life

What I do, what I think

Untitled July 22, 2007

Filed under: Ex-boyfriend — reneewong @ 7:41 am

The ex has put up pictures of his nubile 17-year-old girlfriend on Facebook. Current boyfriend could only go, “She looks so young!” over and over again. My first reaction was “My ex-boyfriend is a paedophile!” and I wanted to write just that on his Wall, but decided against it almost immediately, because like what current boyfriend says, “That’ll just make you seem like a jealous ex.” So I decided to blog about it instead. Ahh… modern technology… my cheap alternative to psychiatric help.
The warning signs were there since our first date when we were both 19 and he confessed and swore me to secrecy (harhar!) that he had had the hugest crush on then-9-year-old Anna Paquin in The Piano. When we were 21, he felt that he was destined to be with a particular 16-year-old violinist. Just last year, when we were 29, he was gushing over a 12-year-old violinist. So, all things considered, 17 isn’t so bad.
I can understand the attraction to youth. Of course. It would be a lie to say that it is completely inconceivable or unthinkable that a 30-year-old man would want to be with a 17-year-old girl. In many cultures, that’s completely normal. History tells us that it’s completely normal. But then again, to go with History, we can also look to the Romans and say that it’s normal to have sex with a horse.
Women have always known and felt, perhaps even more than men, the attraction of youth. We understand it more because we have suffered for it and from it. We have accepted it with a kind of resignation. We do not fight against it because in truth, we want it – the elixir of youth, to stay supple, nubile, and firm. I can’t say how much of it is due to popular culture celebrating youth and condemning wrinkles and sagging breasts. I also can’t say that we should blame the men.
Fact is, aging is inevitable but hard to accept. For me. Personally. Even if there were no men on this planet, I would still be upset if I were to one day poke my cheeks and find that the dent remains there, just like on a fish that’s not so fresh anymore.
But, I digress.
In a relationship where there is an age gap of 13 years between the man and the woman, people, like myself, are bound to have lots to say about it. They look at the man, and either go: “Way to go!” Or “Erm…” But what do they think when they look at the woman? That changes
as she goes from 17 to 27 to 37, etc. I look at the picture of the 17-year-old girlfriend of my ex and I think, “Poor girl.” At the age of 27, one would think, “She’s in it for the money.” This of course depends on the man in question. At the age of 37, one would think, “She’s desperate.” These are all just sweeping statements which would not stand in many cases but still, where would we be without sweeping statements?
If the situation is reversed and the woman is the older party… oh my. That’s when the claws are really unsheathed. By both sexes. Consider that.


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