An Ordinary Life

What I do, what I think

God is The Architect and I’m in the Matrix July 27, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 2:46 am

The thing about being Christian is that we have to thank God for everything. It says in the Scripture that He gives and takes away. Personally, that frightens me.

My dad is giving me a considerable sum of money to help out with my wedding preparations and our first flat. When I told Sniffles, I think the first thing he said was, “Praise God!” and then he went on to call his church friend and his cell leader to give his testimony. That was a few weeks ago. I think that he has not yet said anything about thanking my earthly father.

And that’s the thing about attributing everything to God. We are negated. I think the next time Sniffles does something nice for me, instead of thanking him, I shall thank God for him. In fact, I shall stop thanking people in general, because really, what’s the point? And people, you can also stop thanking me for anything. I am just a vessel. I do something good for you, thank God. If I don’t, it’s the devil’s fault. And whatever pill Neo has taken, I’m not taking it. I am remaining in the Matrix. Thank God.

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Exciting weekend July 21, 2008

Filed under: dog,rambling — reneewong @ 11:17 pm

I took urgent half-day leave today to recover from the hectic weekend. That, and the fact that I accidentally locked my dog out in the rain this morning and felt I should spend some time with her, since I’ve been quite negligent lately. But the wonderful thing about dogs is that they are so forgiving, and mine is now sitting right under my rolling chair where at any given moment, I could possibly roll over her paws. It’s one of her favourite spots, only when someone is sitting on the chair, of course – what’s the point without imminent danger?

Before the animal activists start to harass me, I just want to explain that in the morning, my dog likes to go out into the yard, but she has taken to running out of the compound, i.e. she squeezes out from under the gate, even though the bottom of it is covered with plastic mesh, so I leash her every time she’s out of the house. The handle of the retractable leash is under my door, and the door is closed coz I continue sleeping while she’s out there. So this morning, I let her out and crawl back into bed. I was woken up by the sound of the rain, and I thought, “It’s good that Yuki is in her room coz she hates the rain and she usually kicks up a fuss when it rains.” Then, it kind of came in a revelation that, “Oh no! She’s outside of the house!” And she really was standing just outside. So I let her in, and she shook off the excess water but she wasn’t completely drenched or anything like that.

The baptism went well enough though the pastor forgot to call my name, and my ears were blocked for the most part of the day after I was dipped in the water.

Emceeing was a complete disaster. It’s one of those things that I will only do once in my lifetime, and I think I’ve actually run out of single friends anyway, so that’s ok.

 

I am Renée

Filed under: God — reneewong @ 11:01 pm

I mean that literally. Reborn. That’s what it means in French. And so I am born again.

 

Life changes July 20, 2008

Filed under: God,rambling,wedding — reneewong @ 4:04 am

It’s 3.30 in the morning of the day I’m going to get baptised. No, I’m not kept up by second thoughts. In fact, I’m dead tired. But I think I should blog anyway. I’ve been thinking of blogging for the past week. However, the urge only came at work. Technically, it would be wrong to do something as frivolous as blogging at work. Instead, I play Wordtwist.

So, the reason I’m up late is coz Sniffles and I were up working out our MC scripts for our friends’ wedding which is happening tonight. We only got roped in seven days ago and it’s been a very busy seven days for us both, so we only managed to get it settled an hour ago. Sniffles is now catching his forty winks before he has to get up at 5.30 to perform his best man duties.

Sniffles was talking to a friend earlier about girlfriends’ temper and ex-female friends who piss him off with the things that they say. He mentioned to friend that I’m much better now coz of the pre-marital counselling that we attended where we were supposed to work out what to do in a fight and stuff. It’s really not because of the counselling. This is where I am going to give my first testimony on this blog before my baptism. I figured that it’ll be apt. Two words: Holy Spirit.

People who are not Christians may not be familiar with the Holy Spirit and I’m not going to belabour them with abstract or theological talk. Simply put, we believe that anyone who has accepted Christ has the Holy Spirit inside them. How much of it is another story. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend who asked, “Why do I need to have the Holy Spirit? I believe in God, isn’t that enough?” Belief in God is very abstract. Having the Holy Spirit inside you is very real. It’s there and you’ll know it. Personally I know the Holy Spirit is inside me because I can see the changes and it is amazing. I can list at least 10 things that I’ve seen changed in my life in just the past 2 weeks. This list include things that I never would have done before, or would have just pondered about until the moment is gone, along with the opportunity.

First, being the Chinese MC at our friends’ wedding. This is not the first time I’ve been asked to be Chinese MC at a friend’s wedding. The previous time was actually by my best friend, and I turned her down. It’s certainly not that my Chinese has gotten better since then. It was responding to friends in need and it wasn’t even an issue. I didn’t even think twice about it. There were other experiences leading up to the moment when I was thrust with this responsibility which helped shaped my answer into a positive. Today, amidst all the hustle and bustle, I was rather tired of having to translate Sniffles’ elaborate English script, but the thing is, such a thing can lead to resentment, OR at some point in time, you just catch yourself and not go down that path. That’s what having the Holy Spirit has been doing for me.  I stop, before resentment, irritability and rage can even gain any sort of momentum. People who have known me intimately in the past can attest to just how easily I can descend into that unholy trinity. So yes, the reason why my temper has “improved” can be attributed to me accepting Christ.

Next, taking on the task of teaching a China girl English. God just opened that door and I stepped through it. See, God can open doors, but it’s only by letting the Holy Spirit take control that I could step through it. In the past, I would have spent lots of time thinking about how I don’t have time to do this. But I just took the leap this time. Later, I was left telling everyone I don’t know what possessed me to offer my services, but I do know, and here I am, sharing the real reason.

Words. I am a very critical person, and the person who is most often at the butt of my criticism is Sniffles, followed by myself. But I’ve been learning that words have power. Words are not just words. The term “self-fulfilling prophecy” did not emerge from nothing. And it’s scary, but empowering at the same time. So now, I think twice and refrain from pronouncements like, “I’m never going to get married”, and certainly no more of “God hates me”, albeit I only said that in jest when losing a Scrabble game to Sniffles. People just shouldn’t be putting curses on themselves, not to mention on others. Sometimes the things that you say to others can end up harming yourself, such as “If I marry you, I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life cleaning up after you.” You think you’re chiding the other person, but really you’re cursing yourself.

Forgiveness. This is huge.

To be continued.