It’s 3.30 in the morning of the day I’m going to get baptised. No, I’m not kept up by second thoughts. In fact, I’m dead tired. But I think I should blog anyway. I’ve been thinking of blogging for the past week. However, the urge only came at work. Technically, it would be wrong to do something as frivolous as blogging at work. Instead, I play Wordtwist.
So, the reason I’m up late is coz Sniffles and I were up working out our MC scripts for our friends’ wedding which is happening tonight. We only got roped in seven days ago and it’s been a very busy seven days for us both, so we only managed to get it settled an hour ago. Sniffles is now catching his forty winks before he has to get up at 5.30 to perform his best man duties.
Sniffles was talking to a friend earlier about girlfriends’ temper and ex-female friends who piss him off with the things that they say. He mentioned to friend that I’m much better now coz of the pre-marital counselling that we attended where we were supposed to work out what to do in a fight and stuff. It’s really not because of the counselling. This is where I am going to give my first testimony on this blog before my baptism. I figured that it’ll be apt. Two words: Holy Spirit.
People who are not Christians may not be familiar with the Holy Spirit and I’m not going to belabour them with abstract or theological talk. Simply put, we believe that anyone who has accepted Christ has the Holy Spirit inside them. How much of it is another story. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend who asked, “Why do I need to have the Holy Spirit? I believe in God, isn’t that enough?” Belief in God is very abstract. Having the Holy Spirit inside you is very real. It’s there and you’ll know it. Personally I know the Holy Spirit is inside me because I can see the changes and it is amazing. I can list at least 10 things that I’ve seen changed in my life in just the past 2 weeks. This list include things that I never would have done before, or would have just pondered about until the moment is gone, along with the opportunity.
First, being the Chinese MC at our friends’ wedding. This is not the first time I’ve been asked to be Chinese MC at a friend’s wedding. The previous time was actually by my best friend, and I turned her down. It’s certainly not that my Chinese has gotten better since then. It was responding to friends in need and it wasn’t even an issue. I didn’t even think twice about it. There were other experiences leading up to the moment when I was thrust with this responsibility which helped shaped my answer into a positive. Today, amidst all the hustle and bustle, I was rather tired of having to translate Sniffles’ elaborate English script, but the thing is, such a thing can lead to resentment, OR at some point in time, you just catch yourself and not go down that path. That’s what having the Holy Spirit has been doing for me. I stop, before resentment, irritability and rage can even gain any sort of momentum. People who have known me intimately in the past can attest to just how easily I can descend into that unholy trinity. So yes, the reason why my temper has “improved” can be attributed to me accepting Christ.
Next, taking on the task of teaching a China girl English. God just opened that door and I stepped through it. See, God can open doors, but it’s only by letting the Holy Spirit take control that I could step through it. In the past, I would have spent lots of time thinking about how I don’t have time to do this. But I just took the leap this time. Later, I was left telling everyone I don’t know what possessed me to offer my services, but I do know, and here I am, sharing the real reason.
Words. I am a very critical person, and the person who is most often at the butt of my criticism is Sniffles, followed by myself. But I’ve been learning that words have power. Words are not just words. The term “self-fulfilling prophecy” did not emerge from nothing. And it’s scary, but empowering at the same time. So now, I think twice and refrain from pronouncements like, “I’m never going to get married”, and certainly no more of “God hates me”, albeit I only said that in jest when losing a Scrabble game to Sniffles. People just shouldn’t be putting curses on themselves, not to mention on others. Sometimes the things that you say to others can end up harming yourself, such as “If I marry you, I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life cleaning up after you.” You think you’re chiding the other person, but really you’re cursing yourself.
Forgiveness. This is huge.
To be continued.