I’m sitting next to the fiance in his office on a Friday, minutes from midnight. Before this, I was at church, from where I had run away towards the end of the session when the senior pastor was going to engage us in prophetic drawing and I wasn’t feeling up to feeling like Helen Keller where God was concerned. I love going to church, except on Sunday mornings, but that’s only because getting up in the morning is a constant struggle for me. It seems as if in the past few months, I’ve noticed plenty of areas for improvement in my life, but it has been a matter of “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”. Like, going running. It’s amazing how I fall sick every time I start exercising. It has occurred to me also that I was at my healthiest, i.e. not falling sick at all, when I wasn’t exercising, and was drinking like a fish and working like a horse. I’ve been trying to sleep more normal hours, but I realised that no matter how early or late I go to bed, I still end up waking up late, so why waste time? I’m also trying to go on a diet, but that’s just not me. In recent years, I’ve only lost weight if I fall ill for a prolong period of time. I have no wish to wish that upon myself, so the flesh will have to catch up with the mind soon.
Anyway, the reason why I’m sitting with the fiance in his office is because he is working. And I feel that we have not been spending much quality time with each other. Not that this really counts as quality time since he is in a world of his own, typing more maniacally than usual. I think that we spend so much time with each other that when we don’t spend as much time with each other, I feel we’re drifting apart. The fiance has been on his own planet because he has been sick and in his own bubble of mucus. I am not the most sympathetic person around when he is ill because I find that he doesn’t worry enough about his own health, so why should I? I could nag. But I’m averse to that, so I just avoid the walking germ factory and call him names, in the hope that that would spur him to recovery. I think he’s developing a fever even as I type this.
We’re supposed to meet florists and the pastor this weekend, but the fiance will be working. I suppose I’ll have to meet the florists on my own, which is just as well, as I think the fiance might disapprove of how much flowers I want.
On a final note, I want to quit my job!! There is no such thing as a free meal. Getting a raise comes with increased responsibilities and obligations, and where mine is concerned, this is palpable. It’s almost as if overnight, I’m suddenly being milked for every teeny bit of essence till I’m as dry as a raisin. I need to quit. I also need to pay off my reno loan, and all the other expenses and debt that I will incur for the wedding.