An Ordinary Life

What I do, what I think

My general wellbeing March 7, 2009

Filed under: boyfriend,rambling,wedding,work — reneewong @ 12:09 am

I’m sitting next to the fiance in his office on a Friday, minutes from midnight. Before this, I was at church, from where I had run away towards the end of the session when the senior pastor was going to engage us in prophetic drawing and I wasn’t feeling up to feeling like Helen Keller where God was concerned. I love going to church, except on Sunday mornings, but that’s only because getting up in the morning is a constant struggle for me. It seems as if in the past few months, I’ve noticed plenty of areas for improvement in my life, but it has been a matter of “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”. Like, going running. It’s amazing how I fall sick every time I start exercising. It has occurred to me also that I was at my healthiest, i.e. not falling sick at all, when I wasn’t exercising, and was drinking like a fish and working like a horse. I’ve been trying to sleep more normal hours, but I realised that no matter how early or late I go to bed, I still end up waking up late, so why waste time? I’m also trying to go on a diet, but that’s just not me. In recent years, I’ve only lost weight if I fall ill for a prolong period of time. I have no wish to wish that upon myself, so the flesh will have to catch up with the mind soon.

Anyway, the reason why I’m sitting with the fiance in his office is because he is working. And I feel that we have not been spending much quality time with each other. Not that this really counts as quality time since he is in a world of his own, typing more maniacally than usual. I think that we spend so much time with each other that when we don’t spend as much time with each other, I feel we’re drifting apart. The fiance has been on his own planet because he has been sick and in his own bubble of mucus. I am not the most sympathetic person around when he is ill because I find that he doesn’t worry enough about his own health, so why should I? I could nag. But I’m averse to that, so I just avoid the walking germ factory and call him names, in the hope that that would spur him to recovery. I think he’s developing a fever even as I type this.

We’re supposed to meet florists and the pastor this weekend, but the fiance will be working. I suppose I’ll have to meet the florists on my own, which is just as well, as I think the fiance might disapprove of how much flowers I want.

On a final note, I want to quit my job!! There is no such thing as a free meal. Getting a raise comes with increased responsibilities and obligations, and where mine is concerned, this is palpable. It’s almost as if overnight, I’m suddenly being milked for every teeny bit of essence till I’m as dry as a raisin. I need to quit. I also need to pay off my reno loan, and all the other expenses and debt that I will incur for the wedding.

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Mining accident in China February 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 8:00 pm

I hardly read the news. Yes, that’s my confession. However, I am on medical leave today, and had to go to the doctor’s to get a medical certificate. While waiting, I flipped the papers and there was a picture that caught my eye. A hand, blackened with soot, escapes the cover draped over the body of one of the victims of a mining accident somewhere in China, with two people crying over it. I’ve composed a haiku about it:

No choice did he make
Coal mining his path to take
Death awaits him since.

I’m currently reading Haroun and the Sea of Stories, which probably explains the whole poetry thing. It’s whimsical and poetic in its own way, with many references to pop culture and foreign languages. Times like this, I am glad that I learned French and listen to The Beatles.

 

We signed a contract January 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 1:54 am

We signed a contract with a designer today. Let’s just say that his design fee was already a five-figure sum. As usual, Hot and I have gone for the most expensive option, because that’s the one that beckons to us like the call of the sirens.

The thing is, we were not expecting to sign anything with anyone today at all. Originally, we had two follow-up appointments today to see the 3D and 2D mock-ups that the designers had come up with. The first was a so-so option, the other was the one that we were really keen on. Except the latter postponed our appointment to next week. I was quite disappointed about that coz I was really excited about their ideas after our meeting last week. So anyway, Hot decided to call up this other designer who does really unconventional concepts, whom his colleague had used before. It was our first appointment with the guy, and so we just went in there not expecting to commit ourselves. But we did.

And know what the freaky part was? At the end of last year, I was filling in stuff in my 2009 Moleskin Diary, which I had bought coz I knew this would be a crazy year. So I was planning our projected timeline for all the house and wedding stuff. And for today’s date, I had written “Confirm ID, i.e. Sign.” Despite what I had written last year, we were actually planning to spend CNY considering our options. Yet in the end, things happened exactly as I had written. Prophetic? Or just plain weird?

 

I look funny

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 1:24 am

I went out today, despite the thousands of dots on my face which also resembled an angry octopus, coz it was swollen and red. The reason why I can still go out in this state is because I can’t see myself!

My forehead the day after my first laser treatment.

My forehead the day after my first laser treatment.

See those dots? Imagine them ALL OVER MY FACE. Including my nose, the crevices at the sides of my nose, the area above my lips, my temples, my cheeks, EVERYWHERE! 

I am actually quite happy with the dots, as long as they are not a permanent feature. I am just so fascinated by them.

Just the other day, I saw someone with a physical deformity, I can’t remember what it was, but I really wanted to stare. And I thought, he shouldn’t mind if I stare coz it wasn’t actually him that I was staring at, but the deformity. However, yesterday after my laser treatment, I realised that it doesn’t matter what the seer’s intention is, coz how would the freak know? I’m using the word freak on my post-laser freakniess, not that I think that people with physical deformities are freaks.

So, back to my earlier point, I’m very happy that I have my own freakiness to stare at for as much as I want to while it lasts.

So, I tried to use toner just now, and I stopped short because the cotton pad was making a most disturbing scraping sound against the dots. My face basically feels like fine sandpaper. It’s fascinating.

 

Justice? January 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 9:52 pm

Every day, women in developing (though what they are developing, I really can’t see), non-Christian countries are raped, then charged with adultery, and then stoned to death. Or, abandoned by their husbands, they set themselves on fire as widows do in their culture, as they too have lost their husbands, though not to death. These women, because they are not saved, will burn in hell. And so too will their husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles, their accusers, judges, executioners. The innocent and the guilty. The victim in inferno that began with life, the perpetrator in the same inferno that begins with death. Is this justice?

 

The price of vanity

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 9:41 pm

My face hurts.
I went for my first laser treatment today.
The question “Why”, I feel, is stupid and redundant. Obviously, it’s vanity. To make myself look better, to glow, shine, defy the ravages of time and air itself.
It hurts.
So I went to see the dermatologist. I’ve seen him for all of 2 minutes – the combination of my first and second consultations with him. I’ve spent more time with his assistants and the doctor who did the actual laser for me. In fact, my dermatologist had no clue that I was doing the laser treatment today until his assistant reminded him and asked if he thought I was up to it.
So, the nice doctor who did my laser for me explained things to me. She told me about the downtime – 1 week! That was the first time I’d heard that! She told me that despite the numbing cream, there would still be pain. She told me that when I wash my face tonight and tomorrow morning, it would really hurt. She said that some people don’t. Wash their faces, that is. I am seriously considering being one of them.
I’m trying to remember the last time I felt such pain. I’m suddenly feeling very empathetic towards the MP who got burnt.
Ow.
So, she said that the next one to two days, there would be redness. In three days, the scabbing will become obvious. She showed me pictures. I was speechless. I couldn’t even look suitably horrified because when she spoke to me, I had numbing cream covered with cellophane on my face.
It hurts.
She confirmed that I didn’t have any functions or important meetings to attend over the next 1 week. I was thinking of my appointments with all the interior designers, but figured that should be ok.
It hurts. I think my face is getting redder by the second.
So, the actual experience was quite ok. I mean, I’ve been for Brazillian Waxes and IPL in my nether regions, so compared to that, this was a breeze.
But it really hurts now.
This is the first of five sessions.
The stupid question “Why?” inevitably pops up. Vanity.

 

House reno step 1 January 11, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — reneewong @ 10:37 pm

So, between the two of us, Hot and I have met up with 5 interior designers – 3 together, 2 separately – as Step 1 of our flat reno. We had our separate sources: for me, the ids called me coz I sent in a form to the magazine Square Rooms on the designers whose work I liked, and whom I would be interested in hearing from. Hot got his from good reviews on the forum of Reno talk. We meet very different types of designers this way. Meetings with his ids have been taking place at hawker centres and coffeeshops, while those with mine have been in swanky offices. Mine will get back to me with 3D mock-ups and quotations, while his will just revert to him with a quotation, and we don’t even start discussing design until we have confirmed that we are going with them.

We met one that we really liked yesterday. That was also the only one that told us that they couldn’t work within our budget. It’s so typical of Hot and me, that it’s almost expected. I wouldn’t say that we have expensive taste, but we just have a liking for things that incidentally cost more than the average because it’s not run-of-the-mill and not everyone can do it.

What to do, what to do.