Exciting weekend July 21, 2008

I took urgent half-day leave today to recover from the hectic weekend. That, and the fact that I accidentally locked my dog out in the rain this morning and felt I should spend some time with her, since I’ve been quite negligent lately. But the wonderful thing about dogs is that they are so forgiving, and mine is now sitting right under my rolling chair where at any given moment, I could possibly roll over her paws. It’s one of her favourite spots, only when someone is sitting on the chair, of course – what’s the point without imminent danger?

Before the animal activists start to harass me, I just want to explain that in the morning, my dog likes to go out into the yard, but she has taken to running out of the compound, i.e. she squeezes out from under the gate, even though the bottom of it is covered with plastic mesh, so I leash her every time she’s out of the house. The handle of the retractable leash is under my door, and the door is closed coz I continue sleeping while she’s out there. So this morning, I let her out and crawl back into bed. I was woken up by the sound of the rain, and I thought, “It’s good that Yuki is in her room coz she hates the rain and she usually kicks up a fuss when it rains.” Then, it kind of came in a revelation that, “Oh no! She’s outside of the house!” And she really was standing just outside. So I let her in, and she shook off the excess water but she wasn’t completely drenched or anything like that.

The baptism went well enough though the pastor forgot to call my name, and my ears were blocked for the most part of the day after I was dipped in the water.

Emceeing was a complete disaster. It’s one of those things that I will only do once in my lifetime, and I think I’ve actually run out of single friends anyway, so that’s ok.

Lost and Found April 15, 2008

My dog went missing today. I left her in the yard, not for the first time. But for the first time, she actually saw me walk out of the gate without her. Her first reaction was to follow, so she tried to sneak under the gate, but then she got distracted by something and went towards the house and I walked off. That happened at 8.40pm.

Sniffles and I got home about an hour later and she was gone. We called and called for her but there was no response. Actually, the moment I opened the gate, I sensed that she wasn’t there because usually, at the sound of the gate, she will run to welcome whoever is there.

That started us on an hour-long search, and somewhere along the way, we enlisted the help of the housemate and her girlfriend. At around 11pm, my mobile rang and a woman’s voice went, “Are you looking for your dog?”

I had prayed, really prayed that she would be found. A lot of thoughts went through my head as I was wandering around the estate looking for her. At the sight of the first person I saw, I knew that she couldn’t be nearby because she loves people too much, not to mention other dogs. She would have jumped onto the first person and made friends, and if that person had wanted to return her to her rightful owner, the person would have called me already. There is a mental checklist that I went through, and I’m not sure if all dog owners who lose their dog go through the same thoughts. First, I was glad that there wasn’t roadkill in the shape of a small white furry mound and I started viewing all moving vehicles with fear, especially those moving exceptionally fast. Second, I started wondering which of the neighbours have decided to keep her as their own. Third, I started envisioning the missing posters that I would slot into each and every mailbox around the estate and wondered how many that would be. Then, I started imagining what it would be like to never hold my dog again, and thinking about getting a replacement, complete with what I would name her. Except that there could be no replacement. And then I started seeing this as a parable about being lost and found and how each lost sheep is precious to the shepherd. It was a powerful message.

I prayed that she would be found, that whoever had found her will restore her to me.

“Can you describe what kind of dog it is?”

“I was downstairs walking my Schnauzer with my husband when we saw this small dog.”

“She’s very dirty and hungry.”

“We waited 30 minutes to see if someone would come and claim her.”

“Huh? I’m at Jurong.”

That was the clincher. I live in Serangoon Gardens. For non-Singaporeans, let’s just say that Jurong and Serangoon Gardens are separated by a 15-minute car ride on an expressway if you’re travelling at the 90km/h that my housemate was driving at.

I wish my dog could talk. Maybe she could confirm some of our theories. Did she jump onto some pick-up truck and stowaway halfway across the island? Was she dognapped to be made into some tasty dish for any of the many foreign construction workers in the neighbourhood who then proceeded to dump her when she started throwing up and hyperventilating? (Besides asthma, the dog also has motion sickness half the time in car rides.) Was she dognapped to be sold or held for ransom, but then abandoned because she started coughing and retching? Did some uncle want to keep her for his son but changed his mind when it became obvious that she’s unwell? See how the various scenarios paints her illness as her one saving grace?

She’s sleeping at my feet now. She dreams. I wonder what she’s dreaming of.

The people who found her were true dog lovers. They fed and bathed her. She proceeded to pee on their slippers when she saw Sniffles. That confirmed her identity.

She’s really none the worse for the wear. She doesn’t look like she suffered any separation anxiety at all and is her usual self.

I just thank God.

Epiphany March 5, 2008

I came to an epiphany last night. Obviously I am extremely unhappy with my JPL experience. I mean, I have been angsting about it since my visit and really, there has been no improvement in my dog’s condition, no change, except for diarrhoea, which she really does not need, so why am I going back to him? The medication that he prescribed was more or less the same that I have gotten, and can get, from Dr. Ling, so hmmm… is there really a good enough reason to continue this painful relationship?

In any case, this morning, I mixed my puppy’s food at about half-half, and the diarrhoea still persisted. For dinner, I upped the amount of old food to 3 quarters and the diarrhoea went away. She was also very happy after eating and was bounding around, followed by the wheezing and coughing of course, but it’s always nice to see her running. She’s so funny. Everyday is a new experience with her.

Having a break March 3, 2008

I took a break today. A break from the dog, a break from the boyfriend, a break from work, a break from everything. For the first time since I got my puppy, I felt like I was regaining a bit of myself. Still, the dog is so much a part of me now that not a day goes by without me doing something related to it. So, this morning, on the way out, I called the ARC and told them about my dog’s diarrhoea and the friendly lady asked me what I used to feed my dog and then she suggested that I mix the two types of food and monitor what happens. What happened is that the diarrhoea got worse. DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING?

My dog is the sweetest thing ever. That helps make everything ok. I wish she wasn’t ill, I wish she was everything a Westie should and can be, I wish we could bring her for puppy kindergarten (too old for that now), obedience training, agility courses, the whole gamut of things that one should be able to do with one’s dog. But as it is, we can’t even bring her out for walk. Coz no vet has wanted to vaccinate her because of her condition and all the other medication she’s been on. But she is growing bigger, and her fur has taken on the texture of an adult Westie and her jaws and teeth are certainly stronger from all the chewing she’s been doing in lieu of running around like she used to do. Like she used to. She has definitely mellowed. I don’t know whether it’s because she has realised that I don’t want her running around so much or is it the experience of coughing and wheezing after every bout of sprinting that has put her off it.

I bought her a new chew toy today. Her interest in rubber chew toys last all of 3 minutes. Unless there’s food in them. At least she’s still active and alert though not as hyper as before. I would say that my puppy has not had a very fulfilling childhood. A quiet one perhaps, but not one which could have reached its full potential.

I think I shall switch her back completely to what the doctor prescribed and see how it goes. She’s really not showing any sick behaviour, thank God for that. But if she does, I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get to it.

Helplessness

It’s been more than 48 hours since I put my dog on Hill’s Prescription Diet Egg and Rice as ordered by Dr. Jean-Paul Ly and she has been having diarrhoea since. This is particularly distressing because she has never had diarrhoea before in the two months that I’ve had her. She has been wheezing and coughing and having a skin infection on her right ear, but no diarrhoea. Now, she has diarrhoea and her wheezing and coughing is worse and her infection seems to be spreading to her left ear. Perhaps I’m expecting too much of the good doctor. He’s no miracle healer after all, and what he did tell me was useful – my dog has a collapsed trachea, asthma and allergies, all congenital. He said her fur was dry and that the redness in her paw is probably due to some allergy and that’s why she’s been chewing on it. Well, first of all, her fur is NOT dry, and yes, she was chewing on her paw a lot when I first got her, so yes, maybe she was allergic to the food that was fed to her at the pet shop and that we were weaning her off – Hill’s Science Diet Puppy Small Bites Chicken Flavour, but it’s been a long time since she has STOPPED chewing on her paws, in fact, since we started feeding her only Timberwolf Organics Ocean Blue. If the doctor had only asked, if he had even looked vaguely interested in my dog, if he had even cared, perhaps we could have eliminated any one of the other 8 different types of treats that I was giving her, instead of taking away her staple just like that. And if he had bothered, he would perhaps have found out that the anti-histamine that he prescribed her was exactly what she had been taking for the three weeks prior to our visit, so it’s the same old shit, plus new merde.

Yes, I am angry. And I am disappointed. And I am bothered. And I wonder if I should put up with an experienced vet with a bad attitude. I have no doubt that he was busy – he has hundreds of patients – but I have only one dog. He has no time of the day for my dog, and I have no time of the day for vets to experiment on my dog. But like I said, at least he told me what was wrong with my dog… now to find a vet that can actually address the problem in a professional manner. I don’t know if I should go back to Dr. Ling. I like her, and I have faith in her, but I don’t know if I should give Dr. Ly a chance.

It all boils down to helplessness. As a pet owner, I am trying to find the best vet for my dog and apparently, Dr. Ly is supposed to be the best. But now I have my doubts. He is experienced, and he has lots of certificates to show for it – perhaps the hardware is there, but not the software. It seems that because of my dog, I am at the mercy of an apathetic vet. And that’s why I am seething.

End of life as I know it January 5, 2008

So I brought home the puppy on New Year’s Eve. Life has never been the same. This affirms my conviction that I do not want children. The puppy eats, pees and poos. She needs to be fed, cleaned up and cleaned after. I can do all that. It’s doing that for her and remembering to do that for myself that is proving to be the challenge. I have not cleaned myself up today or cleaned after myself since I brought her home. The cleanest place in the entire apartment is her playpen while dust balls roll around in my own room. The security singlet in her crate has been washed twice since she came home while my own bedsheets have not been washed in months. On my work days when I come home to feed her during lunch time, I don’t get to have lunch myself because there is just no time.

When we brought her home, she was fur and bones and coughing. The vet had said that she had congested lungs from her kennel cough and lots of bacteria in her poop. He prescribed 5 types of medication plus eyedrops and advised that we return her to the pet shop for five days as the change in environment may be stressful and detrimental to her health. We decided to bring her home instead coz we figured that we could take better care of her than the pet shop.

Today, by God’s grace, she is slightly fleshier and alive and kicking, not to mention peeing and pooing. A lot. This is how she looks today:

The challenge has been trying to find ways of entertaining her, and she solved that problem for herself when she found the recycling. Her favourite:

To watch her in action: